Please, please stop torturing me. 

12.21.12

you. look. fucking. nice. in. a. flannel. fuck. 

you and him in one spot… i cannot/:

sigh. he knew i was bothered. he can tell. i’m sorry): i’m trying my best):

12.21.11

12/15/11

I was trembling in fear but I was glad that I could stand up to you. Finally, I’ve been waiting for the day that I am able to defend myself against you.  I’ve always been scared to look like an idiot around you, so I portrayed myself as weak and shy… even though everybody knows I am not.  I am sad that you just got mad with me and didn’t even listen to my opinions, when I was not even attacking you - I was debating with you. I truly hope this doesn’t damage our friendship but to be honest, I’m going to stand my ground, and it feels good.  It feels good to know that I’m getting a little stronger, and I’m starting to view you as a friend, not as someone special.  Yes, I still yearn for your love but I will continue to grow strong and fight the urge. I’m sorry I made you mad, but you disappoint me in your response.

yet, I still love you. 

thank you for talking to me… I miss talking to you. 12/11/11

lately, it has been hard to keep track of time and date… i completely forgot it was your birthday at midnight.  well, happy birthday… i don’t wanna be just another facebook comment. i really miss you. I’ve actually been thinking about you all day, but when haven’t I? you’ve been at the back of my mind since forever. I just can’t believe I forgot about the day that is so important.. the date that is burned into my memory because i’ve used it for daily things. happy birthday, i miss you. 12/11/11

I still think about you. I don’t know how many times I’ve repeated these posts..

he loves me… he loves me with all his heart.  I can’t hurt him. 

(via expressivity-, expressivity-)

Sometimes I wonder if I really like him, or if I actually just need someone to love me.  I want to feel like I’m being loved by someone.  I want to feel that someone cares.  I want to run into someone’s arms when I’m sad or smile with them when I am happy.  I don’t know.  he makes me happy, temporarily and i guess that’s all that matters.  since we live in a world where everything is temporarily.